Rizzoli & Isles

Rizzoli & Isles Subtexty Recap 2.06 “Rebel Without A Pause”

Jane is yelling at the TV like your stereotypical… er, sports lover and Maura’s over there like, “Honey, quit yelling at the TV.” At which point, Angela saunters over to Jane and practically smacks her on the back of the head.

Angela: Go get the hand vacuum and clean up your couch crumbs.

Jane: Mom, I’m trying to relax.

Angela: And we are trying to get ready for a guest. (through clenched teeth) Help out.

Jane is trying to relax. You know where Jane could go relax? Her own apartment. No one would bother her there. Except I think she sold it or something and has officially moved into Maura’s. If she hasn’t sold it,  then the only other explanation is that she wants to be with Maura 24 hours a day until death do them part.

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Anyhoo, forget hand vacuums. Jane’s method of helping out is walking over to Maura and telling her to chillax.

Jane: Oh c’mon, Maura. You’re gonna give yourself an ulcer. It’s not royalty, it’s your mom.

Oh. Okay. So Angela is stressing out about meeting Maura’s mom. Yeah, that makes sense. It makes perfect sense in a scenario where Maura and Jane are dating or engaged or already married. But, you know, whatever.

We learn that Maura’s mom is one of them really critical/snobby mothers who doesn’t show love or affection very well. Maura’s practically having a panic attack at the prospect of her mother visiting and everything not being absolutely perfect.

We learn that while Maura’s mom visits, Angela is going to go stay at Jane’s apartment – which I guess answers that question.

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Jane: Fine, but just remember I don’t serve coq au vin I serve … Cocoa … Puffs.

I snickered.

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We also learn that Jane and her mother are going to be at this dinner. Which would make perfect sense in a scenario where Maura and Jane are dating or engaged or already married. But, again, whatever.

The two receive a phone call about the dead dude, which means it’s time to scamper off and crime-solve. Angela’s left in charge of calling the butcher and getting some pig’s feet, because Maura’s problems are Jane’s problems and Jane’s problems are Angela’s. It’s the same as how Angela’s problems are Jane’s problems and therefore Maura’s problems. Married.

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Jane’s all like, “Let’s go, Maura.” And taps Maura’s hip.

Maura: You should change!

Jane: I’ll change in the car.

Pause. Okay. So. Jane has a change of clothes at Maura’s house? Does she have her own drawer?

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Anyway–

Maura: Then I’m driving.

Jane: Oh, c’mon, I hate it when you drive.

Maura: Well I hate it even more when you undress and drive.

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Pause!

What?! Are these two ever clothed around each other anymore? And why do we never get to see that? Someone move this show to Showtime! I honestly have a lot of questions. Like, while Jane is undressing, who’s driving the car? Is Maura reaching over to drive the car? While Jane is undressing? How undressed is Jane while undressing? Is she getting undressed the easy way or the hard way? Can someone draw me a diagram? Is there fanfic yet?