*deep breath* Okay, here we are at 2.06. But before I start this emotional/heartbreaking recap, I’m going to grab some hot chocolate, a warm blanket, and a box of tissues.
Okay, I’m back.
Here we go…
every episode should begin with drunk kara
Drunk!Kara has nothing to do with Alex and Maggie, but it’s still the cutest thing in the world and should be celebrated. Alex is as amused as we all are to find her sister in an inebriated state, unable to pronounce basic words like “chocolate” without deep focus and concentration.
But Alex isn’t there for Kara. She’s there for…
And wow, Alex, that’s some tunnel vision, there.
Maggie smiles as soon as she sees Alex approaching, and it’s the sort of smile that happens when a surge of happiness bubbles up inside you, and you can’t really help it, but you also don’t want to seem too eager.
Maggie: Danvers! You’re alive.
Alex is quick to apologize for dropping that rainbow-colored bomb on her the other day, and Maggie’s like, “Oh, please, you should see my toaster collection.” And Alex is like, “I don’t know what that means, and I don’t think the kids are using that reference anymore.” And Maggie’s like, “Whatever. How are you doing with that whole ‘maybe-into-girls’ thing?”
Alex: I’m almost thirty, and I feel like a kid again.
Maggie tells her that everyone’s experience is different, and suggests Alex do what she did, which is come out to her family. Alex kind of glances over to where Kara is sitting, and asks how Maggie’s family took it. Well enough, it sounds like, and that’s encouraging, but still terrifying, because coming out is terrifying.
Alex: Maybe it’s just a phase. You know, maybe it isn’t real.
Maggie: No, it’s real. You’re real. And you deserve to have a real, full, happy life, k? Tell your family. This is the biggest thing that’s ever happened to you, and you shouldn’t have to do it alone.
Alex: I have you.
Maggie: Yeah, you do. And I’m good for a drink when you come out.
Maggie: Cross my heart.
The look… of love… is in … your eyes … a look … your smile… can’t disguise–
Hello, Alex, it’s the plot calling. Back to work.
oh god, here we go
Alex tries to work up the courage to come out to her sister, which is a struggle most of us can relate to. She diverts the pressure away from herself by telling Kara that it’s about Maggie, and then goes on to say that after working on a few cases together, she began to develop feelings.
Kara: Feelings? Like…
Alex: Yeah. Those… those feelings.
Kara doesn’t take it badly, but her vibe’s a little off, and she has a lot of questions. Like is Maggie’s gay? Does this mean Alex is? Has she felt like this before? Has she been with girls before? What’s different now?
Alex hasn’t been with girls before, and she doesn’t really know what’s different now, but if she’s honest, this isn’t the first time she’s felt this way. She’s been up all night thinking about her best friend from high school, and about their sleepovers, and about feelings she hadn’t realized she’d had back then, and about all of these memories she’d locked away. And I don’t think I’ve ever related so much to anything on television before.
Kara’s doing her best to sound supportive, but it’s clear she doesn’t really know what to say, or what to make of this.
Kara: So, are you and Maggie, like, um…I mean, do you know if she likes you?
But this isn’t really about Maggie at that moment. It’s about Alex coming face-to-face with the truth about herself.
Alex: No… I don’t really want to talk about it anymore.
It’s gonna be okay, Alex.
you get the girl
Kara gets hurt in the line of duty, and is sent home to rest. Alex offers to go with her, but Kara brushes her off, prompting all of us to scream, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING, KARA?!” Because being mean or cold to Alex is NEVER OKAY, even if you didn’t mean it like that.
Alex senses that something is off, so she goes to Kara’s apartment to confront her sister.
Kara: I said I was fine. You didn’t need to check on me.
Alex: I’m not checking on you. You’ve been weird ever since I told you.
Kara: I don’t mean to be.
Alex: Kara, I know when you’re sad, or when you’re disappointed. I don’t know what I would do if you were disappointed in me.
But Kara is far from being disappointed in her. She’s also so totally okay with Alex not being straight. She just feels guilty about the fact that their whole time growing up everything was about Kara and her secret, and how that left no room for Alex to talk about her own feelings. All of this is probably true, but Alex doesn’t think Kara did anything wrong.
Kara: And I know, I know that this is not the same at all, but I do know how it feels to keep a part of yourself shut off; to keep it inside. And I know how lonely that can make you feel. But, Alex, you are not alone.
I’m not crying. You’re crying.
Then Kara asks Alex to tell her about Maggie, and–
–okay, maybe I am crying.
Because Alex finally gets to talk about Maggie the way she’s been dying to talk about Maggie.
Alex: I, ah… I just like her so much, you know? She’s so … she’s smart, and she’s, she’s tough, and she’s just … beautiful. She’s so beautiful.
Kara: So are you.
Can I just … can we just…
Hello, it’s the plot again, just calling to interrupt this emotionally charged scene. PS: There’s a wild alien beating people up in an alley.
Kara: I’ll go get the alien. You get the girl.
And Alex laughs, and sighs with relief because this weight she didn’t know she’d been carrying all of her life is finally gone, and it feels pretty damn good. She’s got Kara. And that’s all that matters.
But it would be nice to have Maggie, too…
Maggie Sawyer has been playing pool non-stop since Alex kicked her ass the other day. I’m interpreting this to mean a couple of things. First, the girl is competitive, and there is no way she’s just going to sit around and let Alex Danvers best her at something. Second, she can’t stop thinking about Alex Danvers.
And I know I’m right because this is the smile she greets Alex with:
Maggie: Danvers! Hey! I was hoping you’d turn up. Any interest in a game?
“I was hoping you’d turn up” is code for “I’ve been hanging out here for hours in the off-chance I might get to see you.”
Alex: Well, actually, I was wondering if you were still good for that drink you promised me?
Maggie: You told Kara?
Maggie’s thrilled. That’s a huge step. You know what else is a big step? Hugs.
But I’m pretty sure Alex hasn’t been up all night just thinking about high school crushes and repressed feelings. She’s also probably not been just thinking about hugging Maggie, as nice as it is.
Maggie: I’m buying all night. What are you having?
And listen, Alex Danvers may be a baby gay, but she’s got more game than most veterans. She pulls Maggie towards her for a kiss in a way that would probably result in bloody noses and concussions if most of us were to try it.
And then they lived happily ever after.
Reality: Ingrid, this is television. That’s not how this scene ends.
So! After melting into that kiss, which she totally reciprocates, every alarm in Maggie’s head is going off because WHOA! she really liked that. But also, WHOA! this is going too fast. Mayday! Mayday! And I can’t even fully blame Maggie for not saying all the right things after that because I’m pretty sure her brain short-circuited.
But Maggie digs deep into her arsenal of Vast Lesbian Wisdom and recalls that one time Arizona told Callie that she didn’t date newborns, and she can’t exactly say that, because she’s not a Pediatric Surgeon, but she can say something like that. And we get it, but at the same time we’re yelling, “NOOOOOO!” because Alex’s heart is visibly breaking and we need for it to stop.
But it doesn’t stop, and Maggie tries to make it better by saying, “I’m here for you,” and then ruins it by adding, “but as a friend,” in a tone of forced cheerfulness, because this is not at all how things were supposed to go down.
Maggie: Are we cool?
NO! We’re not cool. Damnit, Maggie, you were supposed to be an irresponsible lesbian. Now you’ve made Alex cry, and we’re all irrationally angry with you.
Not cool at all.
Alex manages to hold it together until her back is fully turned, so she doesn’t get to see that Maggie’s standing there touching her hand to her lips.
damnit, i’m out of tissues
Alex is drinking her sorrows away, and we’re all too emotionally compromised to be excited about the fact that we’re finally getting to see her apartment.
After many failed attempts at knocking, Kara lets herself in via the open window.
Kara: What’s going on?
Apparently, Alex didn’t show up to work, which is the most un-like Alex thing ever, and Kara is rightfully concerned. It’s obvious that Alex has been crying, but she tries to pretend nothing is wrong.
Kara: Is this about you coming out?
Alex: No. And just forget I said anything about it, okay? Forget it.
Kara: Why? What does that mean?
Alex: It means that I made a mistake, okay? I was wrong. And I shouldn’t have said anything. I should’ve just kept my mouth shut.
Kara: What happened?
By “what happened?” I’m pretty sure Kara means, “Tell me who hurt you so I can fling them into space.”
Alex: She doesn’t like me … like that.
Oh, Alex, yes she does. She’s just trying to do what she thinks is right. Like that time my wife refused to date me because I was coming out of a relationship, and she was all, “Rebound relationships never work out,” and I thought, “Oh, she doesn’t want to be with me,” but what she meant was that she wanted to marry me one day and needed me to be sure.
Kara doesn’t have any life experiences she can use to make Alex feel better, though, so all she can do is hold her sister tight.
Alex: I’m so humiliated.
Kara: No, no. I’m proud of you.
And this is beautiful and heartbreaking all at the same time, but this better be the last time we see Alex this heartbroken, or I will riot.
I’m looking forward to some of Maggie’s POV. I think they’ve left her thoughts and feelings a mystery in order for us to be fully invested in Alex’s journey and heartbreak, but I’m pretty sure that Maggie feels the same way about Alex. Maybe she doesn’t want to, but that’s not the same thing. Maggie’s not looking for a one-night stand; she’s not looking for the short-term. Maggie’s looking for forever, and she knows Alex needs time.
Do I think she said all the right things to Alex? No. But none of us say the right things in the moment. I think she was trying to act emotionally distant because that kiss made her feel anything but.
Anyway, I have no idea what comes next, but I’m excited. Bring on the slow-burn.
Continue reading: Supergirl 2.07: Alex/Maggie Recap