This week on Rizzoli On Isles, a bestselling author finishes a book, finishes a drink, and then finishes his life.
But over at the Boston Police Department, a greater tragedy has occurred: THERE IS NO COFFEE. I’m horrified. Jane is horrified. The entire police department is horrified. Maura isn’t bothered, though, because she’s drinking tea. This is the same person who last week was like, “HOW DARE YOU SERVE ME INSTANT!”
But it’s Wellness Week at the BPD, and Lieutenant Cavanaugh has a list of statistics to help him make his point. For instance, did you know there’s like a 100% chance you’re going to die if you’re born? True fact. Don’t worry, though, the BPD is on it. It’s time to pick some abled bodies to lead the charge against inevitable death.
The lieutenant chooses three captains entirely at random from the list of main characters: Jane, Maura and Mama Rizzoli. Jane’s in charge of physical activity (bow chica bow wow), Maura is in charge of meditation, and Mama Rizzoli is in charge of making sure that people consume a healthy dose of water and cardboard.
No coffee for you, Jane Rizzoli. But there’s a suicide-murder-like thingie that you can go investigate.
But first, the murderer and his father drop in at the police station to hand Frost a piece of incriminating evidence in the shape of a $25,000 check.
A small token of their gratitude for Frost helping to incarcerate some other guy who everyone thinks is guilty, but isn’t, because otherwise this plot would not be in existence. Frost pockets the check because it will be useful later.
Elsewhere, in Steampunkville, the bestselling author of Suicide Boy maybe killed himself, or maybe got himself killed. This obviously would not have happened if he’d had tea for breakfast, but hindsight is 20/20 – unless you’re dead. Keep that in mind when you eat your next cheeseburger.
We know this is going to turn into a murder investigation because otherwise there would not be an episode about it. And we know that it will have something to do with that other murder because otherwise the kid from Desperate Housewives would not have made an appearance 3.5 minutes into the episode. And we know the check his father gave Frost will have something to do with solving the case because otherwise the prop department wouldn’t have bothered.
So! If we add all of that together, what do we get? [calculating…] I got 53. What did you get?