Rizzoli & Isles

Rizzoli & Isles Subtexty Recap 2.05 “Don’t Hate the Player”

This would’ve turned into a brother-sister therapy session, except there’s a breaking news report that “Mega” has been killed in a car accident. So it’s back to the plot and back to Maura’s lab.


Maura discovers something odd in Mega’s kidneys but she doesn’t want to “guess” as to what it is.

Jane: (under her breath) God, it’s torture sometimes. Ahem. Have you seen this before?

Maura: Yes.

Jane: Okay. Good. What did it turn out to be? Before.

These two are so perfect for each other it’s ridiculous.

Antifreeze. Someone was poisoning Mega. Oh, hey, Tommy didn’t steal Maura’s stuff after all. It was Neal Caffrey or something. Also? Frankie finds a bloody glove in the arena trash and that’s important.

Jane brings the glove to Maura to see if she can extract a fingerprint.

Maura: This isn’t CSI: Boston, Jane.

Jane would like Logic and Practicality to go away please. She’d like to bring in Luck and Convenience instead.

Maura would like Jane to stop hovering. She has been rather clingy this episode. She suggests Jane go apologize to Tommy. Jane’s all, “But I need my prints. I need them now. Give them to me, Maura. Hurry up. It’s the least you can do after I worked so hard to drive over to the arena and get the glove from Frankie. You have no idea. I was forced to be away from you for like twenty minutes.”

Maura puts her foot down.

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Jane: Fine. Bye.

Jane goes and apologizes to Tommy because Maura told her to and she has no intention of sleeping on the couch. Tommy is now a dog walker and so he is now walking dogs. They have a nice heart-to-heart full of brotherly-sisterly love. Jane tells him to go home. Maura’s home. Because Maura’s home is now the official Rizzoli family abode. It has been reserved for all present and future Rizzoli family functions: weddings, funerals and babyzzoli baptisms.

After the talk with Tommy, Maura calls. Guess who got a print off the gloves? Luck and Convenience, that’s who. Those minxes. And the bad guy turns out to be–

Drumroll please…


Smooth-Talking Date Dude! Shockeroni.

I’m glad that’s over.

Back at Maura’s, the entire clan is there. Frost and Korsak are helping to put Maura’s rescued TV back on the wall.


Jane and Maura yell instructions from the couch. And I swear they’ve moved in together. This whole thing is so coupley.

Dinner’s ready!

Korsak asks Angela if they’ve been feeding Joe Friday chicken. Yes indeedio. He asks if she’s been licking her paws and Jane says she has and that it was rumored to be depression. Korsak’s like nope, just an allergic reaction to poultry. I’m surprised Maura didn’t know that. But Jane is just happy she has something to tease Maura about.


Jane: (mocking in Maura’s tone of voice) Well she has been withdrawn…and…restless…reluctant to go outside and urinate…

They then go on to bicker, prompting Angela to say, “Stop it, you two.” Ha. As if.

Maura: Do you want me to reimburse you for misdiagnosing your dog?

Jane: Yes. Yes I would. That would be nice.

Maura: Would a check be okay? Or would you feel safer with cash?


And they all take their seats for Rizzoli family dinner.


I bow down to the superior powers of the Rizzoli & Isles writers for writing the gayest show to ever gay.  Four for you, Glen Coco. You go, Glen Coco. I baked you a cake filled with rainbows and smiles.