Rizzoli & Isles

Rizzoli & Isles Subtexty Recap 2.05 “Don’t Hate the Player”

So here we are, then, in Maura’s office, in the middle of a murder investigation. Jane gives exactly zero f*cks about the guy she’s meeting, and Maura wants Jane to help her strip.

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Jane: W-why?

Maura: Because you can’t go like that. We’ll trade clothes.

We’ll trade clothes. I don’t even.

Jane’s like, “Are you crazy?” And Maura’s basically like, “Shut up and take my clothes off. It’s for a good cause. Also, I want to make sure you smell like me and only me while you’re out on this … interview.”

I imagine taking the dress off Maura was far more enjoyable for Jane than putting that pink monstrosity on. Worth it, though. Next up: shoes. Jane’s like, “HELL TO THE NO,” when Maura slips out of her heels. They’re too small, Jane points out.

Listen up, guys. This is true love. TRUE LOVE. Because Maura grabs a scalpel and cuts right into them shoes. Maura Isles. Maura Isles takes a scalpel to her shoes so that Jane can wear them comfortably.

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How Maura loves Jane, let me count the ways:

  • She loves her to the cost of $500 artwork – created  by Jane’s mother
  • She loves her purely, through the torture of awful dates (for the sake of Angela’s car)
  • She loves her freely, through the offerings of food and shelter for Jane’s entire family – mothers and felons alike
  • She loves her with the breath, smiles, tears of all her life – as she cuts holes in her super duper fancy shoes
  • And if God choose, she shall but love her better when she’s naked. Later. In her bed.
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Jane knows.

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How do you straight after that? You don’t. You can’t.

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Maura: Ugh. You look sexy.

Jane: You look … like you’re wearing my clothes.

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Way to get in Jane’s pants, Maura. Also. Can I say that Maura needs to be in Jane’s clothes all the time? Because wow.