Rizzoli & Isles

Rizzoli & Isles Subtexty Recap 2.05 “Don’t Hate the Player”

Anyhoo. Some plot blahdeeblah. Over at the baseball team’s locker room, Maura goes to examine the body, while Jane hangs out and watches the baseball players go through their pre-game rituals. Vomit is involved. Sexy. Then a smooth-talking fellow slithers over to her and tries to charm her.

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Guy gives her his number. Jane cares exactly zero amounts. She’s more interested in watching Mega (star baseball player) interact with the other players. Because she’s a detective and she knows this will probably be useful information later.

But there’s no case yet and Jane’s bored now. Things that don’t hold Jane’s interest: Men. Men changing. Naked men. Men flirting with her. Men in general. So, she goes to find Maura. Things that hold Jane’s interest: Maura. Maura saying things. Maura saying the things she thinks. Solving homicides. And Maura.

So whaddayaknow? They do have a case after all. Murder in the locker room. Plot la dee dah. Jane & Co. set about trying to figure out who killed the naked dude in the shower with the–

Maura: The murder weapon is a cylindrical, heavy hard object.

Jane: Geee…what could it be?

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Jane: Think it’s a pipe?

Maura: Pipe is too thin.

Jane: What about a majorette’s baton…?

Maura: I’m glad that you find my scientific approach amusing.

She finds flirting/teasing Maura amusing, more like.

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So the murder weapon is a bat. Shocking. Also shocking is that it’s Mega’s bat. The teasing then continues as Maura suggests that Jane solve the whole case by doing “that gumshoe thing,” which, if you didn’t know, refers to detectives in the early 1900s sneaking quietly about thanks to their rubber-soled shoes (“gumshoes”). Not this time, unfortunately. As Jane points out, it’s a little bit more complicated than that.

Jane: I’m off! To do my … gumshoe thing!

Maura: I shouldn’t have used that term.

Jane: No, you shouldn’t have.

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And Jane looks like she’s waiting to hear Maura say something like, “Because your methods are far more impressive and intellectual and swoon-worthy.”

But she actually says:

Maura: Because it actually refers to galoshes, which you aren’t wearing.

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I swear Maura giggles as Jane walks away. And then she’s all, “Wait! What did I say?”

There’s then an outpouring of plot-related bits, which eventually lead to Jane needing to interview that smooth-talking baseball player from the locker room. She has his number and stuff.

The meet is at Les Deux Amours. Trendy. Yet discreet.

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No, wait. I’m confusing this with D.E.B.S.

Jane’s meet is actually at “Le Bo Truck” which is Rizzoli-French for “Le Beau Truc,” a five-star French restaurant with a “brilliant nouveau take on escargots.” I’m curious about these escargots now, because I actually love escargots. Jane doesn’t, though. I don’t think she even knows what they are.

She’s all, “Is this okay?” Referring to her work suit. The notion of Jane wearing that to this restaurant horrifies Maura. It horrifies her so, so much that she’s left with only one option. Just one. Only one.

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Maura: Unzip me.

At this point in the episode everyone that’s partaking in the Rizzoli & Isles drinking game effectively passes out.