Rizzoli & Isles

Rizzoli & Isles Subtexty Recap 2.05 “Don’t Hate the Player”

Let’s get to the plot. Subplot. Plot thing.

Tommy. Remember him? Jane’s badboy baby brother? I think he ran over a priest or something? Well he waltzes through the door. Because he lives there now, too, you see. Jane’s the only one surprised to see him.

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Angela: I forgot to tell you he was coming home.

Jane: You forgot to tell me? (points to Maura) You forget too?

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Oh, Maura. You shouldn’t hide things from your wife/girlfriend/object of lustful affections/LLBFF.

Tommy tells Maura that he tightened the flush valve in the guest house and Maura offers to pay him for his handiwork but Tommy’s not having any of that.

Tommy: It’s the least I can do, you know. All you’re doing for me.

Jane’s not happy. No.

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Jane: Aaaaall you’re doing for him?

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Hello, maintext.

Jane’s concerned about Tommy staying there because … honestly? I’m not sure. She’s saying that he’s a felon and Maura’s saying that he needs a permanent address or else he’ll be in violation of his parole and Jane’s like, “But he’s a screwup.” And I honestly don’t know what we are meant to get from this scene other than Jane is worried for Maura and also jealous of her baby brother staying in Maura’s house.

Maura: I’m doing this for your mother. He’s made some bad choices but that doesn’t make him a bad person.

Jane: Yeah, right. (sarcastically) He did fix your flush valve.

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At this point, a leather-clad unicorn wearing chaps passes by, sees this, and says, “That’s really gay.”

Five minutes into the episode, we’re finally reminded that this is a crime show, or something that aims to be a crime show so as to distract conservative sensibilities from the incredible amounts of gayness raining down from the sky. They’re just good friends, after all. Good friends who are co-workers. Good friends who are co-workers and who spend all their free time together, arm-touching on the couch, drinking beer and watching sports, getting irrationally jealous over men, and eye-sexing each other.

Where was I? Oh yes. Good friends.

So Maura gets a call because some guy slipped and fell in the showers at the baseball stadium and died. Awkward death is awkward. They’re not on duty but Jane’s like, “Let’s go!” And slaps Maura’s ass.

Maura makes this face:

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Yeah.