So there’s a whole bunch of blah blah blah plot blah blah blah. Jane and Frost go off to investigate stuff. Baby scams. Bad people. Bad people wearing Crocs. The usual.
Back at the yard sale, though, Maura has stayed behind to do some more sucking up because you can never suck up enough to an Italian mother. She tells Angela that it must be hard when your kids grow up and Angela says that raising kids was the only thing she was ever good at.
Maura is quick to say that it isn’t true. “You’re great at lots of things like … cooking… and cleaning.”
Mrs. Rizzoli: You should see me with a baby.
Maura has unlocked the achievement: Mother-In-Law’s Approval
That’s right, Maura. You can totally have Jane’s babies now. Mama Rizzoli just gave you the thumbs up.
Continuing down the path towards winning over Mrs. Rizzoli in the hopes of one day becoming a Mrs. Rizzoli herself, Maura takes Angela to the hospital so she can become a kangaroo.
Jane: My mother’s a kangaroo.
Out of context, this does create lots of amusing visuals. But no. Mrs. Rizzoli is not now an Australian marsupial. She just gets to volunteer to hold babies and nurse them back to health.
Jane: She looks so happy
Maura: I bet she looked that happy holding you.
This is code for, “I bet we’d make such cute babies together.”
It’s time to solve the crime, though, so there’s lots of plot stuff happening. None of it is remotely interesting. Long story short: Jane figures out that the bad guy is really the fertility clinic nurse and that the whole point was to steal the baby, because that’s never been done before.
So she calls up Maura to a) hear her voice and b) make sure the baby is okay and c) tell her to stay near the baby at all times.
Too late, though. The evil nurse lady has already infiltrated the NIC Unit and Maura is none the wiser. Maura’s in peril!
But first, let’s look at the gayest screencaps in all of gaydom.
Maura: Can you feel it?
Jane: Feel what?
Maura: A surge of oxytocin, the mothering hormone. Primates also secrete it during sexual intercourse.
Subtle, Maura. Very subtle.
We interrupt this outstanding display of heterosexuality, to bring you the baby-crazed fetility clinic nurse lady … who’s armed! With a scalpel!