The next main thing to come out of this scene is learning that Angela Rizzoli is hosting a yard sale … at Jane’s.
So let’s go to there.
Jane’s not taking any crap from some potential customers who want to haggle the price of bookends down from $2 to a more affordable, $0.50. Jane’s all, “Bitch, please. That baby carriage you’re pushing around costs more than a round trip to the Isle of Lesbos, so don’t even start with me.”
Lady’s all, “Eff you.” And leaves.
Maura saunters up and tells Jane that she’s not very good at sales, while simultaneously looking at her like this:
Jane puts the price of the baby carriage at around $300 (in an effort to defend herself) but Maura’s been spending her off-time Googling baby carriages and putting her and Jane’s picture through those online baby-making generators (because that is what you do with your platonic best friends) so she knows the exact price of the stroller.
Jane: Ooh, and how do we know that?
Sidenote: I like how Jane gets all “we” about the topic of Maura possibly wanting a baby.
Like, in that scene earlier where the dialogue could not be heard over the ticking of the biological clocks. Maura was all, “Oh I went to see the baby earlier.” And Jane is all, “Oh really? Are we getting…?” And Maura’s eyes snap up and she looks all surprised and hopeful like Jane is about to say something like, “Are we getting a baby?”
But then kind of realizes that Jane wouldn’t say that so she finishes Jane’s sentence with a joking reference to craving pickles. And then goes, “No.”
But back to the yard sale. Jane, once again, is all “we” and mocking about Maura knowing the exact price of a stroller and Maura deflects by blaming the Internet and Google ads and how looking for necklaces invariably leads to shopping for baby stuff.
And Jane’s all, “You don’t have a baby.” And Maura’s all, “Yet.” And Jane gets iffy about the topic, probably because she hasn’t figured out that Maura wants a baby with her and not some random dude.
Maura then picks up a ghastly-looking piece of art and Angela rushes over and asks if she likes it. Maura is about to give her honest opinion because Maura doesn’t lie and always tells the truth. But look, Jane is trying to communicate that this is not a moment for truth and honesty.
The way Maura stares at Jane as she goes on to lie through her teeth for her is just. I don’t even know.
Maura: *nod* Yes…
Maura: It’s unusual.
Maura: … it’s … um …
Maura: Who’s the artist?
Angela Rizzoli, of course. Maura then does an Oscar-worthy performance. What ever happened to Maura being a terrible liar? I think she probably lied about that. Sneaky gays.
Angela explains her masterpiece. It has swings.
Mrs. Rizzoli: I was going to ask for five…
Maura: It’s priceless! Yes. Let me.
Oh, Maura. You sure know how to butter up your future mother-in-law and get the girl to fall even deeper in love with you – all at the same time! Four for you, Maura Isles.
Maura’s not done yet, though. Nope. Girl’s got more tricks that Gob Bluth.
Frost comes by and spots an action figure. He offers Jane $100 for it. Jane is quick to say, “Sold!” Then looks smugly at Maura and is all, “Really? I’m not good at sales?”
Not one to be bested at anything, Maura asks Frost for $120 instead. I like how Maura is negotiating the price of something that doesn’t even belong to her. I also like how Frost takes her seriously and actually pays her $120.
Jane: Show off.
I like the way Maura smirks at Jane.
I like the way Maura winks at Jane.
I’m sorry. What? What is this show even about? Oh. Right. Crime. Drama. Yes.