Anyhoo, the baby survives. The ambulance arrives. Blah blah blah. Plot. Blah blah blah.
In the next scene, we’re back at the Police Station. We’re reminded that Jane’s parents are getting a divorce. As a result, Mrs. Rizzoli has become overly obsessed with cleaning Jane’s apartment and packing her lunch. Jane’s not happy about having her mother around all the time because that makes it harder to bring Maura over for their late-night hand-holding.
Back at Jane’s apartment, Mrs. Rizzoli is acting out an episode from HGTV. She’s got some fabulous paint colors up on the wall and she wants Jane to pick one. Jane’s horrified. After all, she just let her girlfriend whip-drag her to the spa, where she was forced to endure a mud-bath … sorry, clay bath…in the hopes of getting a little something something afterwards, only to then get ****blocked by a pregnant corpse.
Mrs. Rizzoli: Look. Marmalade. Wild Orchid. Or Begonia.
Mrs. Rizzoli: What? You don’t like any of these?
Mrs. Rizzoli, have you met your daughter? I mean … have you? Truly?
True to form, Jane replies with a whole bunch of gay. Like, everything that comes out of her mouth for the rest of this scene is just gay.
Jane: This reminds me of the time that I asked for a bunk bed and you surprised me with a pink canopy.
Mrs. Rizzoli: I thought you loved that bed!
Jane: I asked for a bunk bed because I wanted to build a fort, ma, and I didn’t want to hurt your feelings. I wish you knew that I hate pink.
Mrs. Rizzoli: It’s Begonia!
Jane: I hate Begonia too.
This may as well have been a coming out scene.
Like any true, in-denial mother, Mrs. Rizzoli fumes out of the apartment. It’s getting too real in there. Any mother knows that the moment her daughter utters those dreaded words – “I hate pink” – it’s time to drop the subject, lest any more cruel truths be forced upon her unsuspecting psyche. But before she leaves, Mrs. Rizzoli drops a little Italian Mother Catholic guilt on Jane’s lap. “I got stretch marks for you.”
After a whole five minutes in her own apartment, Jane gets bored and goes to visit her lesbian lady lover. Maura, ever the one to suck up to her future mother-in-law, takes Mrs. Rizzoli’s side. “Marmalade is the new black.”
Jane: If you say anything like that to my mother when you see her…
Yes, Maura. When you see her. At your next mother/daughter-in-law luncheon, where you’ll both pretend not to know what’s really going on here.
Maura: Like what?
Jane: Like encouraging or supportive, I will …
Maura: You will…?
Yes, please, Jane. Answer that question. Maura can easily tell that the answer will involve the words “handcuffs” and “bed” so she coyly answers for her.
Maura: Hmm. Well, Korzak will arrest you if you kill me so … you will paint my apartment Wild Orchid?
Jane’s totally like, “Um… yeah … that. Totally what I was thinking. Yup.”
I honestly keep forgetting that these two are in the middle of solving a crime. I also keep forgetting that this isn’t actually a lesbian show because … really?
Maura brings up the parent-less baby that survived her MacGayver-like C-section. There is a lot of concern about finding the boy’s parents. It’s hard to hear the dialogue over the ticking of their biological clocks.
Blah blah blah. Frost found the place the victim was staying at. Blah blah blah.
I think this next scene was put in there just so Jane could look hot.
They storm the motel. They find the victim’s real name. They figure out that she was married. They track down her husband. They drag the husband in for questioning. Guy says he didn’t even know she was pregnant. Baby’s not his. Blah blah blah. Plot. Blah blah blah.
Jane drops by Maura’s cadaver wonderland to ask her to verify the speedy-like DNA results that came in. And will you look at that. The husband is not the baby’s father.
Jane: What’s wrong?
Jane: Tell that to your face. It looks pretty bothered.
Hot and bothered. (Hahaha…ahem).
Maura’s troubled because the husband is not the father and the victim is not the biological mother, which means she was a surrogate.
Plot la dee da.
Maura grabs some coffee and chills by Jane’s desk with Frost while they brainstorm the situation.
Jane: Tracy was carrying someone else’s baby.
Maura: Which means that baby John Doe has parents. Well, biological parents. Not social parents. It’s not the same thing but … I was adopted. My real parents were the ones that raised me. You know, nature, nurture … biological. Social.
What I got from this is that Maura is trying to strongly hint to Jane that she wants to adopt a kid with her.