Rizzoli & Isles

Rizzoli & Isles 2.01 “We Don’t Need Another Hero” Subtexty Recap (2/2)

Maura shows up with Dr. Slucky who reminds Jane that he holds the power of her real badge. Plus he’s totally doing Maura.

So, Jane’s basically like, “I KILL YOU WITH MY EYES.”

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And he’s all, “Muahaha! No badge for you. Later toots.”

Jane tells Maura to get her past security. Maura’s like, “No, go home and get better.” And Jane’s like, “This is who I am, this is what I do. Get me in there.” And the officer standing by is like, “Lovers’ quarrel. HOT. Wait, maybe I shouldn’t be staring.”

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And then Maura stares at Jane like she wishes she could strangle her and/or press her up against a solid surface.

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But that officer dude is still there, so maybe it’s best if they take this sexual tension to her office.

Maura:  Fine. But I’m only doing this because … I’m afraid you might hurt yourself.

I think it’s funny that Maura kind of pauses after the “because” like she’s trying to think up an excuse for why she’s actually relenting. The real answer is, of course, “because I wanna do you.”

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Over by the elevators, Maura lays down the law.

Maura: Downstairs only. I will poke you in your scar tissue if you even touch the up arrow.

My mind is so far in the gutter with these two that all I hear is sexual innuendo. But I think by “downstairs” she means her office and by “poke” she means cause Jane bodily harm and by “touch the up arrow” she means the button on the elevator. You know, obviously.

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Jane pretends to hit the up-arrow then switches to the down-arrow because it’s the wrong time for any sort of poking. In the elevator, Jane rips the Visitor sticker the security guard gave her and tries to give it to Maura because … I don’t even know.

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Maura just shakes her head like, “You’re so infuriating. Why do I love you?”

The next piece of dialogue is seriously: “That’s a sign of sexual frustration.”

Jane twirling her hair, that is.

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Sex is very good for sexual frustration, I hear. A Dr. Maura Isles did extensive study on the subject.

Jane: (mocking) Or tangled hair… (long pause) Ugh, I can’t stop seeing Abby’s face. (changing the subject quickly) It looks different in here.

So she’s twirling her hair (sign of sexual frustration) because she can’t stop seeing Abby’s face. O-kay.

Just gonna leave that there.

The characters then take a few seconds to thank TNT for the increased budget in season 2.

Maura: Wait til you see my office. The decorator just finished.

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Why does everything Maura say sound like a sexual proposition?

Jane, clueless as ever, responds by mocking Maura, which Maura quite enjoys. And gosh, will you look at all that space between them. They’re at like opposite ends of that laboratory. Someone should probably do something about—Oh, there goes Maura. Closing that gap like a boss.

Maura: Something’s gotten in the way of your healing.

Sexual… healing.