I wrote about 840 words of TBSOL today, and finished a scene that turned out much longer than I intended it to be, but it was a lot of fun. Writing this version feels a lot like writing the first one. It’s not a version that’s trying to do anything. It’s not intended to be better, like v2 was, or shorter, like FV.
This version is my playground. It’s me trying to find my voice again. It’s me trying to fall back in love with writing again. It’s me figuring out how to listen to myself again, instead of feeling overwhelmed by what I think other people want. It’s hard to explain what I mean by that, but it doesn’t matter. It’s enough that I understand why all of this felt necessary. This book, and all of its iterations, have made me who I am today, both as a person and a writer, and I have no regrets.
This will be the last version of TBSOL, not because I have finally discovered the perfect way to tell the story, but because I’m ready to find out what happens next. And whether it works, or falls apart, I can’t really know. The point is, I’m no longer afraid to find out.
I think of this version as a new beginning, both for the story, and for my life, and that is how I’m approaching the writing of it. It feels like closure, but it is also a fresh start.