Of Life & Randomness

Goat Breast Milk Porn, Couch Shopping and Other Random Topics

This is what happens when Ingrid plays with Photoshop with no clear goal in mind.

I never thought this image Would be relevant to … well, anything
but I should know myself better by now …

 

I wanted to talk to you about couches today, because K and I were supposed to venture out into the world and buy a couch. Had this happened, my day would’ve been filled with wild tales to share–death-defying acrobatics and maybe PIRATES! –because nothing says “wild and thrilling adventure” quite like couch-shopping does.

Alas, there was no couch shopping because we both woke up, stared at each other groggily, and promptly fell back asleep. And then when we woke up again, we were both like, “Meh. Couches. Monday?”

So Monday we’ll go buy a couch. And battle the pirates. And ride the unicorns. And slay some dragons. And rescue some damsels. And dance a jig. I don’t know. I’ve never bought a couch before, but I imagine the process involves pirates and unicorns and damsels in distress. Everything should. And if it doesn’t… well, then I just imagine it does. Who needs reality when you’ve got imagination?

My point is that I don’t have any exciting tales to share. Sometimes blogging feels like when someone asks you for gum and you dig into your pocket and there’s nothing in there besides lint and maybe an old candy wrapper and a paperclip and a wrinkly picture of Naya Rivera. Wait, what? How did that get in there? So you just stretch out your hand and say, “Well, I don’t have gum, but here’s some pocket trash. Want that?” And so that’s what I’ve got for you today: Pocket trash.

 

Lesbian movies I watched last night

I watched two movies last night: Bloomington and The Four-Faced Liar. I don’t want to spoil anyone too much so I will just say that they were both much better than I expected.

I enjoyed Bloomington way more than I thought I would. I thought I would want to stab it with a fork and I did not want to stab it with a fork. It mostly left me feeling…feelings. I felt. Things. That were feeling-like. 

If you don’t mind spoilerish things, you can read some of my live commentary as I watched it while talking to my friend Lish. We determined the movie was like TBSOL backwards.

(Highlight all the white stuff // If for some reason you don’t see white stuff, just scroll past the next bit REALLY fast with your eyes closed or maybe just stop reading altogether. RUN AWAAAAAAAAAY! SAVE YOURSELF!)

[00:46:11] Ingrid: this movie
[00:46:15] Ingrid: wasted like NO time
[00:46:19] Ingrid: 13 minutes in and they’re having sex
[00:46:48] Lish: imagine if 13 minutes into TBSOL you had J and K hooking up
[00:46:51] Lish: all kinky like
[00:47:04] Ingrid: i’m not sure what i’d write for the next 500 pages
[00:47:07] Lish: lol
[00:47:14] Lish: the post coitus angst
[00:47:20] Lish: and uncertainty
[00:47:50] Ingrid: this movie is like tbsol backwards
[00:48:07] Ingrid: sex then hanging out
[00:48:55] Lish: lol tbsol backwards
[00:49:04] Lish: i should read tbsol backwards some time
[00:49:07] Lish: just to see what it feels like
[00:49:45] Ingrid: “a harrowing tale of how jumping into bed too fast can lead to long distance relationships”
[00:50:24] Lish: oh god
[00:50:28] Lish: so harrowing

[01:06:49] Ingrid: they’re totes having sex in the library
[01:06:52] Ingrid: which was not in tbsol
[01:11:21] Lish: how inspired
[01:11:25] Lish: maybe you should add that to TBSOL
[01:11:28] Lish: public library of NY
[01:11:35] Lish: on the stairs
[01:11:36] Lish: unf unf
[01:13:33] Ingrid: bowchicabowwow.gif
[01:13:42] Lish: unf.gif

[01:35:04] Ingrid: "I’m sure we wouldn’t be the only long distance couple on the planet"
[01:35:25] Ingrid: "California is on the other side of the country!"
[01:35:30] Lish: hahahaha
[01:37:01] Lish: totes TBSOL backwards lol

In all seriousness, though, I thought it was a good movie. I’m glad I saw it. I enjoyed it. But I have no idea how I actually feel about it. Like, do I want to see it again? Maybe? Would I recommend it? Maybe? No se? Question mark?

Here’s the trailer:

The Four-Faced Liar on the other hand, I thought was great. In fact, I’m going to buy it so that I can watch it over. It’s been a long time since I’ve wanted to watch any lesbian movie over again. It was enjoyable/funny/cute.

Trailer:

 

Both are available for rent/sale via iTunes.

Here is a random picture of a cat

I showed this picture to K and she was like, “That is the Kate Winslet of cats!”

(source)

Goat breast milk porn

I think my favorite thing about my friends is that most conversations between us, no matter how deep and meaningful, quickly unravel into nonsense. You would probably not guess it by looking at the following screencap, but what we were discussing here was feminism, the male gaze, the modeling industry, and the exploitation of animals by said industry.

image

Goat breast milk porn is a SERIOUS THING that we should all be talking more about. No. Just kidding. I mean, probably. I don’t know. Lish has feelings about it.

Speaking of Lish, she now has a Tumblr. You should follow her, because I enjoy pimping out my friends.

And that’s all the pocket trash I’ve got. Gum?