In this week’s episode, our crime du jour stars a guy in a yellow poncho. I have one just like that from when I went to Disney. I used to wear it whenever I cooked up meth in my parents’ garage. Oh, did I say meth? I meant smores. I’m not even sure what meth is because I only saw one episode of Breaking Bad and all I learned is that sometimes you end up pantless in the desert.

Anyway, this dude is wearing a poncho and I think he’s making instant soup. His secret ingredient looks like vodka. Perhaps he’s practicing for Iron Chef: LOLWTF. “And your secret ingredient is … GAP jeans!” A la cuisine!